No matter how it happens, being served first can feel like a punch to the gut. At Griffin Family Law, we know how overwhelming it can be to go from everyday life to suddenly facing court dates, custody decisions, and financial uncertainty. That’s why we’re here—to help you get your bearings and move forward with clarity and strength.
You may wonder if filing first gives your spouse a legal advantage. The short answer is no, not really.
Florida courts do not favor the petitioner over the respondent. However, being the first to act often means your spouse has had more time to plan. Don’t worry—you can still take control of your situation. Many people come out of a surprise divorce filing in a stronger position than expected—if they act quickly and wisely.
Let’s walk through what to expect, what to do, and how a Jacksonville divorce lawyer from our firm can help you protect what matters most.
Florida’s No-Fault Divorce: What It Means for You
Florida is a no-fault divorce state. That means neither spouse needs to prove the other did something wrong, like adultery or abuse, to get a divorce.
According to Florida Statutes §61.052, the only requirement is for one party to state that the marriage is “irretrievably broken” or that one spouse is mentally incapacitated (and has been for at least three years).
So, even if you feel the divorce is unfair, unjustified, or based on a misunderstanding, your spouse doesn’t need your agreement to move forward. If they filed, the court process has already begun. But just because your spouse initiated things doesn’t mean they control the outcome.
First Things First: Responding to a Divorce Petition
Once you’re served with divorce papers in Florida, you have 20 days to file a written answer with the court. If you fail to respond, your spouse may be able to request a default judgment. That means the judge could approve everything your spouse requested—property, custody, alimony—without your input.
We can’t overstate this: Do not wait. Contact a divorce attorney in Jacksonville, Florida, right away. At our divorce law firm in Florida, we can help you file a timely and strategic response that protects your rights and outlines your requests.
What the Petition Means
The petition your spouse filed is just a starting point. It outlines what they want regarding property division, alimony, parenting time, and child support. It’s not a final decision. Florida law (Fla. Stat. §61.075) requires an equitable distribution of marital assets, not necessarily an equal one. Your spouse’s requests may or may not align with the court’s orders.
When you work with our team, we’ll go through every part of the petition with you and prepare a thoughtful counter-petition if necessary.
Gather and Safeguard Your Financial Documents
When you know a divorce is underway, gather and make copies of important financial documents. This includes:
- Tax returns for the last 3–5 years
- Pay stubs and income statements
- Bank and investment account statements
- Retirement account information
- Credit card and loan statements
- Mortgage and property deeds
- Business records, if applicable
Why is this so critical? Florida is an equitable distribution state, meaning the court will legally divide marital assets and debts—though not always 50/50. However, if one spouse hides assets or controls all the financial information, the other spouse may have far less than they deserve.
Our divorce law firm in Florida will help you assess your marital estate and protect your share. We’ve seen too many people lose out simply because they were unprepared.
Understand What Might Happen with Joint Accounts
One of the most immediate concerns in a divorce is joint financial access. If your name is on a joint bank account or credit card, your spouse could withdraw funds or run up debt before anything is legally stopped.
Don’t panic—but do act carefully. Do not unilaterally drain accounts or cancel cards without legal advice. Instead:
- Notify your lawyer
- Freeze joint credit accounts if necessary
- Consider separating direct deposits
- Keep careful records of all spending
Florida courts don’t look kindly on either spouse trying to sabotage the other financially. Everything you do from this point forward should show that you’re reasonable, cooperative, and protecting your interests—not trying to retaliate.
Parenting, Custody, and Time-Sharing
If you have children, you’re likely worried about custody—and understandably so. Florida law (Fla. Stat. §61.13) no longer uses the term “custody” but instead refers to parental responsibility and time-sharing. The court’s goal is to create a parenting plan that’s in the child’s best interests.
Being the first to file doesn’t automatically give your spouse the upper hand in parenting decisions. Judges want both parents involved unless one threatens the child’s well-being. What matters is showing that you’re committed, stable, and prioritizing your children’s needs.
We help our clients develop parenting plans that reflect their realities and the best interests of their children. If necessary, we’ll advocate for supervised visitation, primary residence, or a more balanced time-sharing schedule, depending on your family’s needs.
Don’t Underestimate the Power of Proactive Planning
While your spouse may have had a head start, you can catch up quickly with the proper support. Here’s what we recommend as your next steps:
- Schedule a consultation with a Jacksonville divorce lawyer right away.
- Respond to the petition before the 20-day deadline.
- File a counter-petition if needed, to lay out your claim.
- Request temporary relief if you need support during the divorce (e.g., alimony, child support, exclusive use of the home).
- Create a secure communication plan with your spouse, especially if you have children.
- Stay off social media—your posts can and will be used against you.
- Prioritize self-care—this process is emotional, and taking care of yourself is key to making good decisions.
When Emotions Are High, Guidance Matters
It’s normal to feel angry, betrayed, scared, or uncertain when your spouse files for divorce unexpectedly. But those emotions, while valid, can cloud your judgment. That’s why having an experienced advocate matters so much.
We don’t just offer legal advice. We offer clarity and direction in what might feel like the most uncertain time of your life. We explain your options in plain English, help you weigh the pros and cons of different strategies, and keep your focus on what truly matters: your future.
Is There Ever a Legal Advantage to Filing First?
Legally, no—Florida courts treat both parties equally, regardless of who filed first. But practically speaking, filing first often gives that spouse more time to plan, secure legal counsel, and prepare financially.
However, we’ve helped many clients caught off guard by a filing and still achieved excellent outcomes. The key is acting fast, surrounding yourself with the right legal team, and making informed choices.
Protecting Your Reputation and Legal Standing
Once your spouse has filed, everything you do will be under a microscope—from spending to parenting to emails. Be mindful of how you present yourself. Avoid bad-mouthing your spouse to your kids or mutual friends. Don’t send angry messages. And don’t make significant life changes—like quitting your job or moving out—without talking to your lawyer first.
We help our clients navigate these gray areas with confidence. Our goal is not just to help you “win” your case but to help you protect your long-term stability, your parenting role, and your peace of mind.
Frequently Asked Questions: What to Know When Your Spouse Files for Divorce First
Can I move out of the marital home after being served?
Yes, but it’s not always the best move. Leaving the home—especially if children are involved—can affect future custody and property division decisions. If you feel unsafe, document your reasons and speak with a divorce attorney in Jacksonville, Florida, before leaving.
Will I automatically have to pay alimony if my spouse filed first?
No. Alimony in Florida is based on several factors, including the length of the marriage, each spouse’s income and earning potential, and the standard of living during the marriage. Filing first does not determine who pays or receives alimony.
What happens if I suspect my spouse is hiding assets?
Florida law requires full financial disclosure from both parties. If you believe your spouse is concealing income or assets, our divorce law firm in Florida can request forensic accounting or subpoenas to uncover hidden property and ensure a fair distribution.
Can I stop the divorce if I don’t want it?
Unfortunately, no. Because Florida is a no-fault state, your spouse can proceed with a divorce even if you object. However, you still have a right to participate in every decision, from child custody to property division.
What if I was never legally served?
Proper service of process is required. If you weren’t officially served or were served incorrectly, the case may be delayed or dismissed. Let us review how you received the paperwork to determine your options.
How can I protect my digital privacy during a divorce?
Change all passwords, log out of shared devices, and avoid discussing legal matters over email or text. Consider using secure communication apps. We can guide you through steps to protect your communications during the process.
Let Us Help You Regain Control
At Griffin Family Law, we understand what it means to feel blindsided by divorce. Whether your spouse’s filing was strategic or simply a matter of timing, we’re here to level the playing field. Our team will walk you through each legal milestone, provide honest advice, and fiercely advocate for your rights as we help you move forward.
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Contact us today to speak with a trusted Jacksonville divorce lawyer. We’re ready when you are.
